The Foods of Your People
by Aeon1622
Summary: Shepard tried to get Kaidan's attention. Re-uploaded with minor editing.


The elevator door opened and Shepard quickly made his way down the corridor to the observation room, a bounce in his step at his excitement of seeing his favorite biotic. Stopping just outside the door, he smoothes down his hair and straightens the collar of his leather N7 jacket, making sure he looks his best as he takes a step forward triggering the motion sensor, the door opening with a soft hiss. Kaidan stood against the large window looking out into the expanse of space, thousands of far away stars shimmering. Shepard stood a moment to admire his comrade; the dips and curves of well toned muscle causing a stirring in his loins.

"You look like your thinking too hard."

Kaidan turned and smiled at his friend, his honey eyes soft and welcoming. "Hey, Shepard. I'm glad you took the time to come see me."

After a minor dispute between Kaidan and James about the relevance of biotic abilities turned into a fist fight about Kaidan having held a gun to their Commander, the biotic found that he was secluding himself from the rest of the crew and spending the majority of his time in the observation room.

"I've always got time for you, Kaidan. So, how are you doing?" Shepard moved to stand beside his friend who went back to gazing absently out of the large window; taking the opportunity to rake his eyes over the plump backside of his comrade.

"Still a bit shaken about how things went down with Udina, I'll be fine." As he spoke he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, further accentuating how well his uniform hugged his body.

"That ass…" Shepard was completely enamored with the physique of his friend, his eyes practically dinner plates as he continued to stare unabashed upon the body of the other soldier who was utterly oblivious that he was being watched.

"Yeah, Udina was definitely that."

Shepard had been admiring Kaidan since the SR-1, and since their recent run in on the Citadel, decided that he missed the days when they were easy company for each other; Shepard was going to swoon Kaidan, and that was that. He also had a fairly good idea as to how he was going to win the heart of the foodie; with food, of course. Kaidan wouldn't be able to resist.

"Hey, why don't you come up to my quarters tonight? Get out of this room; enjoy some good food and better company." Kaidan looked to him and smiled brightly, quickly nodding his head.

"I'd like that, Shepard. Thanks." Shepard smiled back at his friend.

"I should go." And with that he turned and made his way to the mess hall to grab a few things he had gotten Cortez to procure for him and prepared for his night with Kaidan.

* * *

The elevator door opened at Shepard's private floor at precisely 1900, always liking to be punctual. As we walked to the door it opened automatically, taking it as an invitation, he strolled in and what he was met with made his whiskey colored eyes wider than he ever thought they could go.

At the foot of the bed stood Shepard with a mischievous grin on his handsome face, clad in only what appeared to be a thong; a small glass bowl in his hand with a light brown substance inside.

"Umm… Commander?" He was completely dumbfounded and only vaguely aware of his jaw going slack as he watched Shepard seductively dip his finger into the bowl and suck the gooey substance fervently, never breaking eye contact and making Kaidan more than uncomfortable.

"Maple syrup? It's good. Here have some." As he spoke he again dipped his finger into the bowl, but instead of licking it clean he smeared it down the center of his chest.

"Shepard, am I missing something here?" Kaidan couldn't shake the feeling that he was either being mocked or Shepard had taken one too many hits to the head; he heard the story from Garrus about Shepard head butting a Krogan, Kaidan suspected that may have been the culprit.

Shepard's brows furrowed in confusion, clearly not understanding why he and Kaidan weren't currently christening every inch of his cabin. Moving to a small table he set down the bowl and reached into a plastic bag, pulling out two bottles of beer and smiling brightly at his very confused friend. Kaidan gladly accepted it and gulped it down in one shot, feeling he needed the comfort to settle his racing mind and get a better handle on the situation. As he moved to put the empty bottle on the table he noticed two steak dinners and candle holos on the table and again looked to his Commander for an explanation.

"You hungry? Or, if you want you can skip dinner and go straight to dessert." Pointing to his groin in what he had attempted to be a seductive gesture just ended up being a comical one, causing the other male to cross his arms over his chest and raise a brow at his friend. When he finally looked to where Shepard had been pointing, he again found himself flabbergasted.

"Shepard… is… is that… made of bacon?" The longer he looked, the more certain he became that his Commander was in fact wearing an undergarment made of bacon, the look in his eyes quickly turning from that of confusion to suspicion. Shepard took a step towards the biotic so that they were face to face and laid a hand on his shoulder, his face serious.

"Hey, we'll bang, okay?"

Kaidan's eyes narrowed, unsure of what to make of the blunt remark. "Are you making fun of me?"

"I'm swooning you with the foods of your people…" Shepard stated it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Kaidan couldn't help but to smile at that, suddenly touched by the gesture, as extreme as it were. "Shepard, take off the bacon and wash off the syrup. I'm taking another beer and I'll meet you in bed."

The goofy grin Kaidan had come to love quickly graced Shepard's lips, his entire face lighting up and he walked to the bathroom to rid himself of the remnants of his plan he affectionately labeled "breakfast in bed".

Sipping his second beer, Kaidan wandered to the center of the room, a look of confusion again contorting his sharp features. "I wonder why he has an empty fish tank."

* * *

"So, Commander, how did your night go?" Cortez inquired with a knowing glint in his topaz colored eyes. Shepard simply smiled at his friend and it was all the answer he needed. "I take it your plan worked, then."

"Oh, yeah. It _definitely_ worked. I think it might have been the bacon that did him in."

Cortez chuckled and shook his head as he went back to his duties; he would never look at bacon the same.


End file.
